Joy.

A lot of the narrative surrounding Black people in America is centered around struggles that we face as a people, and in more nuanced conversations, as women, differently abled persons, LGBTQA, and any/every intersection. Today I wanted to focus on Black joy. my joy. Everyday isn’t a struggle. Some seconds, minutes, hours, days are great. So tonight I’ll list a few things that have brought me and do bring me joy now:

• Jodeci’s The Show, The After Party, The Hotel got me through my senior year of college. I listened to that masterpiece so many times. It gave me a new respect for Black artistry and made me feel happy to be alive to listen to it. That album initiated an awakening for me on many levels.
• Candy Crush. Whenever I feel anxious or like I’m lacking in some way, I’ll tackle a Candy Crush level to make me feel like I’ve succeeded at something. Also, if it’s a hard level, I get hype. It helps boost confidence.
• Orange Vanilla Polar Seltzer. the shit is pure gold. It tastes amazing and I love popping and drinking out of cans. Here’s a picture of me when I run out:
• Reading. Reading helps ground me and challenge my current beliefs. I love that. It’s fun, enlightening, and it’s quiet. (except when I react to something out loud)
• Singing in my car. Oh, I’m the worst. If you see me in my car by myself, there’s barely any scruples to be found. I’m belting. I’m yelling. Baby, I’m beggin. Baby, I’m beggin, beggin, baby. The opening scene from Issa Rae’s The Misadventures of AWKWARD Black Girl is a prime example of what I’m talking about.
• Music. If music doesn’t give you joy, I’m just going to assume you’re a demon.
• Films! Oddly enough I’m becoming less desensitized by violence as I age, however, the Saw franchise is one of my favorite film series of all time. It’s probably one of my biggest fears, but it’s so intriguing. It’s borderline hilarious. but scary, cause God knows I’m not tryna live that shit. it’s a lolsob.
• my mac. This thing makes me feel important. I’m projecting, but hear me out: this thing makes me feel like I’m making moves. It makes me want to write. (even though 99% of what I do on this computer is watch Hulu or Netflix or Youtube). Plus, it has a light-up keyboard & an amazing  display. It’s my first major purchase as an adult. It’s something I’ve paid for on my own, so it’s symbolic in that way.
• Laughing with friends and family. There’s nothing that compares to the time I spend with others I care about. It brings me joy to hear others experiencing joy. Some instances for us are few and far in between. When people are willing to share their happiness with me, I appreciate it. (side note: I really miss talking on the phone for hours. I remember in middle/high school I would be on the phone with my friends chopping it up about NOTHING for hours. The house phone would die, so I’d have to switch to another. or my cell phone would get to hot. One of my friends used to hate it, but I would shower while on the phone with her. We were on the phone for HOURS, bro. I wasn’t gonna stop living my life because we were on the phone. Dog, you’re coming with me. You signed up for this when you. called. me.)
• Moments of revelation/enlightenment. Pretty self explanatory. They’re really the moments I live for.
• Making it to my destinations safely. unless that destination is Saw game.

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